New Territory For Me

I know it seems my posts are getting few and farther between.   Life has been really 'happening' right now.  I can't seem to find the time to get everything done that needs to be done!  I've painted a lot of pieces and I haven't shared them yet because I don't have the time to photograph, edit or write a post.  I'm definitely not complaining.  I know most people have very busy lives and I'm not alone in that.

All this social media, linking up and networking has me a bit baffled too.  I used to think I was pretty smart, for a true blond (hahaha), but now I'm feeling more and more dumb and behind the times.  Technology is moving at such a fast pace that I'm contemplating finding a 10 year old to tutor me...and if you think I'm kidding, I'm not!

I read a post recently by another blogger about her quitting her blog and why.  Someone shared this on my Facebook group page after I was venting on my status update about how I can't keep up with it all and how she didn't like how she felt like a 'square peg in a round hole".  This really got me thinking about blogging and appearances.   Not appearances in relation to how people look, but more in relation to how people want their lives to appear, especially in social media and in blogs.

I read and follow a lot of blogs.  There are times when I read a post and think, "Seriously, how is their life so perfect, their home styled so nicely and they still have time to blog, cook, workout, take care of the kids and hubby?"  I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who has thought this!  

I'm going to embark on some new territory for me.    You might read my blog, look at the pictures and think something similar to what I just wrote in that last paragraph.  I'm here to tell you my life isn't perfect, neither am I.

I don't share a lot about me or my life on my blog.  People aren't really here to learn about me, they're here to read about what I do, how I do it and see some pretty pictures, right?  Well, too bad because I'm going to share a bit about myself this time.  If you're not interested then you might want to stop reading right now :-)

I think far too often people compare ourselves to others  instead of thinking about what they themselves do well and commending themselves for it.  I'm extremely guilty of this.  I have for many years struggled with anxiety and perfectionism.  I've never, ever thought to myself, "Wow Melody you're really good at this"  I'm my own worst critic.  I'm always ripping myself apart no matter what I do.  I've tried so many things to combat this and I'm not as bad as I used to be, but that little tape recorder still runs in my brain 24/7.  There are times when i don't want to get up and face the day because I'm too afraid.  Too afraid I will say something wrong, upset someone or just plain make a mistake.  I know I'm human, but I'm a perfectionist and if I can't be perfect it's painful.  I remind myself of the fact I'm human all day, every day.  I wish I was perfect, but the truth is no one is.....my house is far from perfect and only looks like it does in my blog pictures when someone is coming over, the housekeeper is coming (yes I have a housekeeper and I'm admitting it) or I'm staging for a picture.  I don't enjoy cooking or cleaning....I'm no domestic goddess!  I can't sew to save my life and sometimes I'm a less than perfect wife and Mom.  UGH....that's hard to write for the world to see!

I know you're probably wondering, "Why on earth is she writing about all of this?"  I've been wanting to write an honest, heartfelt blog post for awhile, but it scared the crap out of me (excuse my French).  If you knew me in 'real life' you'd know that I'm very open and honest.  I tell it like it is, even when I should keep my mouth shut, I'm sarcastic, loud and funny (at least that's what I've been told...my Son disagrees!).  With all of this technology and 'pretend life' I wanted to try and make things more real.  I wanted to shatter 'appearances'.   I wanted to put it all out there and hope people can relate and connect with me beyond my pretty furniture pictures on the Internet.

When I see bloggers who post every day, it honestly makes me feel so insignificant.  It makes me worry that I'm falling behind.  I know it's not a competition and that's not what I mean.  It's more about trying to keep up and be able to have a successful blog and FEEL worthy of any compliments I might receive.  It's a struggle to keep it all together and going smoothly.  Last spring, summer and fall all I did was work on painting projects, blog and promote the blog.  I didn't take time to swim with my Son in our pool.  I avoided the gym as much as possible.  I neglected my friendships and my relationship with my husband.  I burnt this perfectionist right out!  I couldn't pick up a paint brush or even think about paint for several months after doing this for awhile.  I wasn't having fun and enjoying my life.....my life was passing me by and what did I have to show for it?  A blog with pretty pictures?

This year I resolved to have more balance.  This is something that doesn't come easily for me.   I'm kind of an all or nothing type of person.  I'm usually really good at handling one thing well, but add in more and I'm a mess!  I wanted this to change so I've consciously chosen to spend time with my husband, my son and my friends rather than stay in my stuffy garage and paint 7 dressers in a week.

The point I guess I'm trying to make is we're all human.  It doesn't matter who you are or how you 'appear' on the web or even in your real life, we all have strengths and weaknesses.  We're all struggling with something, working on something in our personal life or just trying to get through each day in one piece.  We all have out strong points too.  You might be an amazing cook and enjoy spending the day in the kitchen, where as I would rather eat chalk than cook all day.  Sometimes we spend a lot of time hiding our weaknesses from others.  It's a lot easier to share our successes and strengths than sharing what we struggle with.  However, when people realize you're struggling too they don't feel so alone.

I started this blog for fun.  I created My Passion For Decor because someone challenged me to.  They said, "Melody you should start a blog where you share your projects!"  I said, "WHAT?  No one would want to read about my silly projects."  The idea scared me and I was so afraid to put myself out there I almost let this experience pass me by.  Instead, I put myself out there and took the chance.   I can honestly say, now that I have some balance in my life, blogging is fun again.  I don't love every aspect of it, but it's actually a blast!!  The fact that I've been putting myself out there again and pushing myself to do something that scares me every day makes it fun.  The scary things I have to do challenge me and help me grow.  Sometimes the scary thing is just being myself and letting people through my barbed wire fence so they can see the 'real' me.  Other times it's putting myself out there in a big way by doing a video chat on Hometalk+ and other times it's something simple like pushing myself to lift a heavier weight at the gym.

I'm not going to lie,  this post is scariest post I've ever written.   My furniture isn't out there for the world to see this time, it's me....and all my flaws.  I truly believe in my heart that things happen for a reason.  I've had such a strong pull at my heart to write this post, I believe I'm doing the right thing.  I hope this is what someone, somewhere needed to read today.  If not, then it was cathartic and helpful just for me and I'm OK with that.   I also hope this inspires you to be yourself and not worry about how you 'appear' to others.


I appreciate everyone of you who follow me here, on Pinterest, Facebook and Hometalk.  I try my very best to email everyone back and respond to your comments, but sometimes things fall through the cracks.  I apologize if that's happened to you!  Please be patient, I'm a work in progress.

As always, thank you for reading...especially this time!!  

Melody

23 comments:

  1. I couldn't have said it better! I feel the same way. I feel like my house should be perfect because it looks that way in pictures. It is SO NOT perfect. I had to conscientiously take some time off this year. I took a bit off in December and again in May. I love being a first grade teacher and I take pride in being really good at it. I don't want to jeopardize that. This fall, I will be making a few changes in my business. I need time for myself again. :)

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  2. Thank you for your honesty. I have deleted several blogs sites lately because I got to the point that I just didn't relate to the perfect home, perfect organization and perfect painted furniture. Your heart-felt message today is exactly what I needed.

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  3. I'm a brand new follower and reader...can't even remember how I landed here. Oh yeah-I think it was Knock Off Decor. Well anywho, I love this post. I'm glad you put yourself out there. There is a lot in this post I can relate to and I feel a little like you may be describing me...are you outside my window?! :) I envy the people that have so many posts with new projects all the time. I just don't have that kind of time! I work full time on top of all the other crazy in my life! Well thanks again for sharing!

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  4. You're human! Honest and open about your feelings. Don't let time pass you by, enjoy your husband and son and do the other "stuff" when you have time to work it in but put your feelings and family first!

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  5. Melody- GREAT GREAT post- I do think that there are those that are SO perfect that you know they aren't REAL. I like real..and that means messy and sometimes ugly. I post everyday but I do short posts that I can manage and it is all about REAL life- kids/faulty projects/holes in the sewer/lol You keep being real..and being yourself...and blog because you love it-not because you feel you should. Great post!!! xo Diana

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  6. I just found your blog recently. I think what you do with furniture if wonderful. I like to paint furniture too! Thanks for sharing your heart with us!
    Beth

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  7. I'm living in your shoes. Thank you for your honesty and openness. I hope you feel better for sharing your heart. You made me feel a whole lot better. It's nice to know you're not the only person feeling like that. I know you changed a lot of people's days today. You have a amazing courage. Again, thank you.

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  8. I NEEDED this! I'm in the same boat. And with just starting my blog and reading other bloggers I feel a need to write a certain way and take pics a certain way but I need to constantly remind myself I started my blog or me, to show the real me and not worry that I only have 7 followers! Lol. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing yours with us!!

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  9. I'm a fellow painter, have a website not a blog, husband, kids ~ and I'm totally stumped by how anyone can paint furniture, blog and sell their wares at markets. After painting all day, I can barely update my website, which isn't a blog. I'm lucky if anyone looks at my website as I don't know where I'd find the time to try and promote it.

    In my eyes, you've become successful very quickly as we both started our website or blog about the same time. I commend you for your wonderful success and for taking a step back to realize you'd like to spend more time with the ones you love.

    I so enjoy your furniture and your perspective. Thank you.

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  10. Amen Sister... Thanks for saying what a lot of people feel... hang in there!

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  11. Melody, You will always have my support. Hang on in there, you probably don't realise how much of an inspiration you are to others.

    I'm with Cynfully FF, 'time with the ones you love' is what it is all about, not how many blogs you can write or how many followers you have on social media.

    Time to feel proud Mel, you are a beautiful and talented lady, from the inside out.

    Sorry I missed the Hangout last evening, family demanded my attention instead, I'll catch your next one, and all those that follow if I can! ;o)

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  13. Melody....I have been following your blog for a while now and always enjoy seeing your creations and the wonderful vignettes you create to photograph them. I love to paint and restore furniture and have "borrowed" some of your ideas for a few of my own pieces!
    I loved reading your blog this morning and even shared it with a friend because just yesterday, she and I had a conversation about our - mostly my - struggles with these very same issues. In fact, I could probably be your MUCH older sister....still fighting the perfectionist plague ... but working on giving myself a break and going "with the flow" every single day. Thanks for sharing. Your words were the perfect start to my day!

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  14. I just started following your blog yesterday and I am elated at this post as I am a new blogger and just started linking up to parties. I started my blog to share recipes and for our friends and family to follow our adventures. I became a bit challenged just this week looking at all the perfect projects and all the DIYing and even when I thought I had an interesting post no one follows me. I've been told my pictures aren't good enough or I'm too wordy but I have to be true to who I am and I'm not the consummate photographer or a great DIYer and I like to express my thoughts and can be wordy - that's who I am and I have friends and family who live that about me. I'm real and not living a persona in social media. You made my day and your post couldn't have come at a better time as I was going to stop blogging. Thanks for inspiring me from one perfectionist to another.

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  15. Great post! I'm pretty sure most bloggers can relate to every word. I cringed when I read about painting the dressers in the garage rather than being with your family... yeah, totally get that!

    Thanks for the reminder to remember what's most important!

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  16. Great post Melody! I know for myself, I can relate to basically every single word you wrote. Just all of it. I'd bet there are many who feel the same. Thanks so much for sharing such a heartfelt post. I'm with ya girl!;)
    Nancy

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  17. Thanks for the post Melody! I love your 'pretty' pictures, but more I like the way you talk to me in your posts - just a normal mum trying to be some kind of super hero. Boy I am so over that. This weekend I got up did the real important stuff and then went back to bed for a sleep in.
    It felt great...!!! I couldn't do it every time I would like to, but it seemed like I needed to. Now I have had a sleep in - on to dreaming of an hour long bath, with candles, good book and maybe a glass of vino....(sigh)

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  18. Melody,
    I just met you by way of the "hang-out" you did with Annie Sloan paints. I am pretty internet savvy from my work, but have never taken much time for the softer content....even though I have always done and enjoyed my creative crafty side. That all changed about 3 weeks ago as I dived into Pinterest to get ideas for helping someone with things for a wedding. Talk about being overwhelmed.... Seeing the level of creativity and beautiful ideas has given me pause. It is so easy to think that you can never measure up. But, I am trying to breath deeply. Trying to recognize that I have some talents too. We always run into trouble when we start comparing ourselves to others, don't you think? Thanks for sharing your thoughts. And thanks for the beautiful things you have shown. Keep up the great work at whatever pace makes you happy.

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  19. Melody, what a wonderful blog post this is. The part about wondering how some of these bloggers seem to have perfect lives hit home with me. I sometimes think the same thing as you. How do they have such perfect surroundings and lives? I've come to think that it is all a "staged" life for their blogs. While they may have charmed lives, no ones life is perfect. I just found your blog through Home Talk and I think it's amazing. You've got a new follower and I don't expect to see a post from you everyday because I know that you have a life outside of the blogosphere.

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  20. Hi Melody, We met yesterday at the Country Living Fair and I was so happy to meet you, Sarah and all the other wonderful bloggers that attended. You hit the nail on the head with this post… I feel the same way, some of these women seems to be like "super women" with perfect lives and I can't measure up to them. That is just not my life! I have decided to just go at my pace and see where this all takes me. I do love the world of blogging, it gives me a little escape when I need.

    I am so glad I met you and I just became a new follower.

    Sherry:)

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  21. Oh Melody - I like you and your blog a hundred times more now. The world is full of pretty pictures but real people are the best! Keep on keeping it real! J

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  22. Thanks for sharing your heart, Melody! I have been going through something very similar lately. I have been working on letting go of my perfectionism and just having fun with painting and blogging. I've been trying new things and it's totally scary, but I love the feeling of having tried! And I was just thinking today about how I will probably never be someone who posts every day - or at least I won't be for a very long time. It just isn't a priority to me and I don't want my blog to take over my life. It's just not worth it! Take care, friend!!

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  23. Melody, I can totally relate to everything you've said. I'm happy if I get a post out once a week. I've unsubscribed to a lot of bloggers who do post every day because it's typically overkill and who has time to read all that? I too have sacrificed my family, my health, my friends, my life for the past two years and for what? We're still struggling paycheck to paycheck, my house is a constant disaster, I haven't cooked a meal in months and my kids are growing up without a mom. I'm so glad I took the time to read your post. I was teaching a workshop all day yesterday so I had hundreds of new messages, questions and important emails to go through. I like your blog because I admire the way you paint furniture but I'm even more proud of you for recognizing there needs to be balance. Hoping you and I, along with all the other hard working mothers, can figure out a way to find some and take time to enjoy life.

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